Stupid Fate

It's half past seven and I'm stuck in this traffic. I want to shout. When will this traffic problem ever end? I'm late. I have a date at seven and my car is inching its way out of this jam. I was having a great day. Everything was going well and as icing to the cake, this night would be the end of my single-blessedness (I'm not marrying, moron!) I'm planning to welcome love again into my life.


He's been courting me for God knows how long and I've been a pain in the neck to him but he did not quit. I was way too harsh on him because of my past love. I've condemned every man. But he was determined to prove that he's an exception. And I can see that he is willing to pick the million pieces of my heart. Slowly, he's been putting it back together.


I placed my hand on my left chest. I smiled. Yes, I'm over my past love. I'm so over him. There's no hurt left. Now, I'm ready. Then, I was pulled back to earth when I felt the car at my rear bumped my car. "Grr, another one of those pain-in-the-you-know-where driver."


I stepped out of my car, ready to explode but I stopped when I saw the man coming out of the car that hit mine. I saw the same reaction on his face. He looked surprised. I'm not really sure, maybe more of confused but I think he looks exactly the same as I remember him years ago, exactly the same man I loved.


I was suddenly trembling. My God, why the hell am I trembling? It was only a moment ago when I told myself I was over him. But why do I feel this way? I thought I had forgotten him but why does it feel just like yesterday when I first saw him, when I first cried over him?

"Yes, I still love him. So much."

Maybe it was just my mind that has tricked me. I thought I had forgotten him but when I saw his face, it all flashed back so vividly. Everything came back, every memory. I even felt my heart skipped a beat. I remembered my feelings for him. I remembered everything.


God, I'm crazy. I should not be feeling all these. I'm supposed to be on my way to the one who truly loves me. But why did this have to happen now? Stupid fate. She intervened before. Now, she's at it again.


I should keep my cool. I should at least look unaffected. I should be angry with this moron for crashing my car and most of all for ruining my supposed to be end-of-single-life date.


I was ready to explode. Then he smiled.


I froze, but my heart melted. My foot! Here I go again..


Maybe fate intervened before to give us time to think if we're really for each other. And maybe she intervened again because I was about to commit into a relationship with someone not really meant for me. Yes, I still love him. So much.


I moved so I could run into his arms.


BLAG!


I fell. Literally, out of my bed. My head aches and my eyes hurt. They're still swollen from crying all night. He left me and I could not do anything about it, even if I was willing to be miserable just to have him back. I thought I have him back but it was just a dream, And for now, it will just remain a dream. LSZ

The Other Woman

I wanted to pour this out since I don’t know when. I don’t know if it’s because of guilt. Conscience maybe? But how can you possibly call a love so great wrong?

It was not love at first sight. It even had to go through a lot of impolite stares and eyeball rolling for me to admit that I’ve been hit. And as the rain fell on the corrugated galvanized iron roof, so did my heart on his sexy smile complete with his perfect set of teeth.

I’ve tried to deny my impulses at first but my olfactory nerves send signals to my brain that tells me how good he smells even when he’s all covered with sweat. Even my optical nerves find it difficult not to stare. Whew! It seemed that I’ve come to realize for the first time why the good Lord had endowed me with such great senses – except for my common sense that I’ve started to bottle up.

Long before I knew him, she was there already. She had been his life. She was his first love. When he first introduced me to her, she just eyed me suspiciously as if she was already expecting I’d take him away from her even though at that time we were just friends. But we all know how friends could get so close (most abused foundation of love?). And it didn’t take too long for both of us to realize that we couldn’t stay as friends any longer. And though I prided myself with being intelligent and making right decisions always, I didn’t quite calculate the amount of beer that could affect my reasoning, judgment, and sense of righteousness.

I got pregnant. She got mad. He tried hard to explain what happened but she chose to play deaf. He moved in our house after we told my parents about my condition. It was hard for him – for both of us actually. We were both graduating when this mess happened. It was a good thing my tummy was not very noticeable. We still continued going to school. And even though my parents are supporting us (I’m the only girl in the family), he tried hard to find a job.

"We got married after graduation. Two months after that, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. We named her Helena. Helena – the first woman he loved."

Slowly, things started to put on a normal footing. But I could sometimes catch him in deep thought and staring at nothing. I knew he was thinking of her. And though he never told me, I know he still visits her sometimes – in hope that she might forgive us. He loved her all his life and I just cannot compete with that.

We got married after graduation. Two months after that, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. We named her Helena. Helena – the first woman he loved. Before leaving the hospital, we learned that Helena was ill.

We decide to visit her. I waited outside the room while he talked to her.

“You look good. How’s the baby?” she asked.

“Five pounds. Baby girl. Are you okay?” he sat by her side.

“Aww, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I just need a little rest. Is your wife still mad at me? I hope not. You chose her over me.”

“She was never mad at you. I’m sorry I was very stubborn at that time. I know she understands you better now that we have a baby.”

“I’m sorry too.” She said blinking away the tears.

“I’m sorry that I needed to choose that time but she needed me – she and the baby. And I know she could take care of me like how you have taken care of me mom.” He cried.

“I missed you calling me that.” She cried as he hugged her.

I waited for a while and then I entered carrying the baby. She looked at me and then motioned for me to bring the baby to her.

“Come here. Let me look at her.” She held my hand as if saying how sorry she was. I smiled at her.

She then asked, “What should I call her?”

“We named her after you mom. Helena.” I answered and then I looked at my husband smiling at the two women in his life and then at the little angel. LSZ